Saturday, October 7, 2017

Nothing

One of the things that I tend to do when I get overwhelmed or scared or whatever, is that I fold in on myself and don't do anything. Like an armadillo I try to protect myself.

The problem is, sometimes there really isn't any thing that is doing it, but the perceived idea of something that  could  happen.

I have written almost nothing this year. I am afraid that I can't do it right. I am afraid that people won't like it. I am afraid of putting myself out there and being vulnerable. I am afraid of what will I do if I am successful. Will I know how to do the taxes involved? Will I need a business license? So I don't do anything. I have a hard time adding conflict and like my daughter always says, 'To be good, a story needs a problem.'

I put off registrating for Breathe until almost the last moment. I just didn't feel motivated. I felt like an impostor. But I enjoyed going the last 2 years, so I pushed the button.

And so many of the sessions and talks were about exactly the things I've been dealing with. God is so good!

I went back and checked and I've written 1,010 words this year, which surprised me. I thought I had written less than 300! I am encouraged and determined. I will overcome!

2 comments:

Carol Van Der Woude said...

I'm so glad you attended Breathe. We are all in a continual learning process--so we just have to keep writing! I'm happy our paths crossed. have a good week.

Becky Dempsey said...

Thank you, Carol. It is nice to gather with people who get the things that I'm dealing with.